My second cousin, Billy Bob,
Twice removed on my Daddies side,
Took his uncles’ sisters’ niece Daisy May,
To be his blushing bride.
He had to, Daisys’ daddy Bubba,
Was right behind him with a big gun,
When you mess around with hill folks,
You have to pay for your fun.
Daisy was nearly over the hill,
She was almost 12 years old,
But Billy Bob was as sharp as a marble,
So he just did as he was told.
In a couple of months she was ready to hatch,
So they sent for old Doc Henry Swan,
He poked and prodded and pulled and pushed,
And said you got two for the price of one.
They were like two little peas in a pod,
No-one knew which one of them was who
Until the day of their christening,
When the whole clan were invited to the do.
We all seem to be related to each other,
Our gene pool don’t spread very far,
In fact my mamas’ my auntie, and cousin,
And my sister is niece to our Pa.
Daisy May waylaid the Doc,
Said they couldn’t tell which twin was which,
He said Billy Jo’s the boy, Bobby Jo’s the girl,
You hillbilly dumb assed bitch.
