Jim used to like his yoga…all that twisting up and down
Three times a week he used to go…in a hall just north of town
He was pretty fit then…jumping out of his skin
And all the little fillies…well…they’d often invite him in
He gobbled down his muesli, had fresh fruit every day
He stayed away from caffeine… and beer…well…no way
He kept a secret diary…logging all his attributes
With notes of all his measurements…from his head down to his boots
Now this went on for many years…until a class a while ago
When stretching out upon the floor…Jim felt his bladder go
He could feel it coming…but he couldn’t do a thing
Well, not in that position…with his legs wrapped round his ring
A little show was followed…by a great enormous gush
There wasn’t much that Jim could do…but just sit there…and blush
The gush became a torrent…it flowed across the floor
And before too long the whole damn class…was washed out through the door
But the tide of piss kept flowing on…it became a raging flood
It knocked down four old shearing sheds…that belonged to Farmer Rudd
It carried all before it…now the whole village was in strife
The Council crier yelling…“Run for your bloody life”
Helicopters flew above…with a host of TV crews
Jimmy’s little piddle was about…to make the National news
The drought has broke one farmer called…but I cannot see a cloud
Just a lot a people swimmin’…jeez there’s sure a bloody crowd
Then it seems that poor old Jim…was now busting for a fart
He tried real hard to stop himself…but then his cheeks began to part
But his gut was in no mood for stop…that gas had to escape
And so it did…and when it did… was like a cyclone from the cape
Now the flood that had engulfed the town…was joined by a wind so strong
That it blew down all before it…it even carried sheep along
The air was full of pigs and ducks…and an old lady in a chair
It gusted high…it gusted low…it gusted everywhere
Now it took a while for that urine flow…to eventually recede
People started asking questions…to find out who had peed
And who had dropped that darkie…the fart that came from hell
And smashed their town to smithereens…it seems that nought would tell
Jim had crept home and stayed alone…to avoid the nasty jeers
Of that terrible experience…so unpleasant it brought tears
But then…all of a sudden…the deadly gas built up again
And Jim had to let another one go …this one a damn force ten
It took him out the window…he was headed for the moon
He flew around the district…like a jet-propelled balloon
He ducked and dived and when he’d run…out of that odorous gas
Landed in the vestry…of the church…during morning Mass
That event is still remembered by the town…I’ll tell you why
Becau se on the day the district flooded…without a cloud in that sunny sky
When the wind blew fierce and people ran... now it’s come to pass
It really was just piss and wind…that ended the yoga class.
